Hi, I'm Mr. K and I've decided that no matter what the outcome is of the U.S. election, I'm going to appoint myself as president! (I'm sure all my new friends would approve...besides, we Scotties have lived in the White House more times than any other breed so why not have one live there who's actually president?!) Now, this may come as a shock to those of you watching CNN. They haven't broken this very important news yet, but give it time. You'll see. For those of you wondering what my platform is and what my game plan entails over the next four years of my self-appointed presidency, see below. Your feedback, my fellow canine Americans, is always welcome.
As president, I will:
1) Declare Friday a Day of Playing in the Park and every third Tuesday a "National Treat Day."
2) Feed the hungry and shelter my fellow animals in need.
3) Get rid of kill shelters and formulate an incentive plan for owners of safe and loving homes, encouraging them to adopt.
4) Establish the Scottish Terrier as the national dog breed. (There's no bias here, I swear.)
5) Promote good health by asking my furry friends to get yearly annuals and be proactive about their health. (Think: Extra walkies!) I'll also be looking to sit down with the V-E-T-S for a serious discussion on putting a cap on the fees they charge as well.
6) Matters of national security are no problem for this president. I'm bringing in Scottie Security (with a few Rotties to serve as backup!).
7) Toughen laws on animal cruelty. Anyone seen hurting a fellow animal or known to have abandoned or mistreated a furry friend will be sentenced to spend some time crated up in a shelter, so they can see how it feels.
8) Make October 25 (my birthday) a national holiday celebrating the lives of every Scottish Terrier and the impact we've had on society.
9) Improve spay/neuter laws. Ok, I know canine friends will think I'm crazy but here's a great example: there are lots of those evil C-A-T-S. So much so, we're in danger of them taking over the world because they reproduce so much. Implement better spay/neuter laws, problem solved!
10) Oh yeah, and free belly rubs and back scratchings from humans for life for any canine that supports my cause!