The End of the Road?

Something told me to take Heather to bed with me last night. I can't explain why. I just felt it was important she spend the night with me. So, I scooped her up and to bed we went. Less than two hours later, I woke up to the sound of quick, short breaths. Heather was sleeping but she was breathing incredibly fast. I shot up to check on her and surprisingly, her breath normalized shortly thereafter.


I tried to settle back in and was just dozing off when Heather suddenly stood up and stared across the room. I watched her carefully and a few minutes later, she relaxed and sat back down. Fast forward maybe another 20 minutes or so, and it happened again. This time, she looked directly at me. I coaxed her to come to me so I could pet her and make her feel more comfortable. It worked but I quickly realized there wouldn't be much sleep for either of us that night. 

And so it went on, hour after hour. Nothing really appeared to be wrong - only twice during the night did she seem like her breath was labored. The rest of the time Heather was inexplicably restless. I was terrified and woke up with a start any time I felt my eyes closing. Was she still breathing? Was this really it? She seems fine but why so restless and why had I felt compelled to bring her to bed? I'm usually not the superstitious type but couldn't help wondering if this was some kind of sign.

Finally, sleep found us both. And in the morning, Heather enjoyed a big bowl of boiled chicken and rice - now her favorite meal. There were no breathing issues and she seemingly was fine once more. I couldn't help but think of what a strange night it had been. What did it all mean? Was I missing something? Is she really okay? What if she's in pain and I have had no idea? When I came home from work this evening, Heather was in her usual spot, resting on the floor vent soaking up the AC.

I smiled and said hello but Heather didn't get up. I moved closer and pet her gently but still she did not get up. Her eyes weren't as bright and happy. I scooped her up and put her on all fours only to find that she slid back down. My heart stopped. How had her health declined so fast? Was this a result of the clot in her leg or was this a symptom of the cancer progressing? I took her outside where she promptly took care of business and actually took a few steps on her own before lying down in the warm, green grass. Suddenly, reality set in and I knew we very well could be at the end of the road.

Once again, she enjoyed a full meal. Although, she had to eat it while lying down. Her back legs have lost almost all function in a matter of hours. Just a few days ago, you wouldn't have been able to tell that she was sick. Tonight, after a conversation with the V-E-T, I'm left contemplating next steps. Heather will be going in for an evaluation with the V-E-T first thing in the morning but the anxiety is high and the heart is heavy tonight in light of this turn of events. Of course, I'm hoping for the best but knowingly preparing for the worst. Please keep my sweet girl in your thoughts tonight.

41 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry to hear. I've been there and it's so so tough. I'm praying for Heather and hope, whatever happens, she comfortable and in no pain. Thoughts and prayers are with you. Xx

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  2. I'm praying for you and your beautiful girl.

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  3. All my love to you during this difficult time. Praying for both of you to find peace.

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  4. All my love to you during this difficult time. Praying for both of you to find peace.

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  5. I'm so sorry! I will keep you all in my prayers.

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  6. I'm so sorry! I will keep you all in my prayers.

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  7. I am thinking of you and your precious Heather...

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  8. How blessed you and Heather are to have each other. My thoughts and prayers will be with you both throughout the night and tomorrow.

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  9. Thinking about you and Heather. Keep her close to you, she needs you now more than ever. Reading what you wrote was like re-living my journey with my Charlie two years ago. He let me know when it was time for him to go and I had to let him go. I asked the vet to come to my house, I did not want a trip to the vet to be his last journey. That was one of the darkest days of my life. I will be praying that Heather can pull thru this and that you will have the great gift of more time with her. Hugs and love to both of you ❤️

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  10. Prayers for Heather and you tonight from AZ

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  11. So many prayers for you and Heather!!

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  12. Know that she will let you know when she's ready to go and as hard as it will be you have to let her. You have shown her what true Scottie love is and she will never really leave you. Just continue to love her, as I know you will, and God will watch over you both. My thoughts and prayers are coming to you from Michigan. Please know that you are not alone in this difficult day.....

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  13. Shades of Dec 2014 with Kyla and melanoma. She rallied and relapsed but the final relapse was tooooo much and she wasn't enjoying life at all. Be prepared and say your good byes. You got the warning-take advantage of it and don't let things go unsaid and undone because cancer isn't kind enough to wait. If the worst doesn't happen, we'll all do the happy dance and AROOOOO for Heather.

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  14. Prayers for you and Heather Beather❤️

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  15. Está en nuestras oraciones la dulce Heather. Un abrazo y estamos pendientes y pidiendo a Dios mejoría en su cuerpo.

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  16. Está en nuestras oraciones la dulce Heather. Un abrazo y estamos pendientes y pidiendo a Dios mejoría en su cuerpo.

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  17. My thoughts will be with you tonight and tomorrow. Such sad news.

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  18. Tears, hugs and prayers for all of you.

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  19. Thoughts and prayers are with you. The unknown is so hard. Heather knows you love her.

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  20. Thoughts and prayers are with you. The unknown is so hard. Heather knows you love her.

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  21. So sorry to hear this. I have just lost my beautiful Hamish on 8.8.16 to myasthenia gravis. Cried buckets.

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  22. The end of the road is never easy. But just remember that Heather can pick up your feelings so make is easier for her by just having love and joy in your heart for all the good times you have had. I do believe that they all by your side even after they cross the bridge. May you find peace and love in your heart. Prayers of Heather and your family.
    Hugs. Pat.

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  23. Sending you and Heather love and wishing you both peace..

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  24. So sorry to hear this. Our thoughts are with you this difficult moment. Stay strong Scottie Mom.

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  25. Dear Scottie Mom, Know that you are doing everything right. Heather is letting you know it's time. Whatever happens today at the V-E-T just be with her and hold her, and know that you being there with her is all she needs.

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  26. We are wishing you all good things. In my experience, the dogs will stop eating when their time is near. I hope the vet has good news for you today.

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  27. I'm crying! So sorry to hear about Heather, my heart aches for you❤️

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  28. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers for a good ending. Having just gone through something very similar with my lil guy, who was brought down by lymphoma, my heart goes out to you both.

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  29. I am writing this through my tears. I am so sorry to hear about the sudden apparent decline in Heather's condition. I will keep you and Heather in my thoughts.

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  30. You both are in our prayers. Give Mr K some extra love for Heather has been his companion also.
    Sweet William The Scot

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  31. We are wrapping you and your clan in love and prayers

    Edgar and his mum

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  32. I am so sorry. The decline can come so quickly...we know from experience. Keeping you and sweet Heather in my prayers...know that we all understand and our hearts break with you.

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  33. Hugs, prayers and pawsitive thoughts coming your way from my clan. She's such a beauty.

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  34. That makes us so sad. Give that girl some extra hugs from us, and all of Blogville.

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  35. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Can't be. Such a sweetheart. Damn cancer claims another one. I am possibly facing the same thing. No definite diagnosis yet.

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  36. Very sorry to hear this. We are going through something similar with our 14.5 year old female Callie who was diagnosed with bladder cancer last Nov.

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  37. I can't tell you how sorry I am. Nothing I can say can make a difference, but I hope your friends' and followers' thoughts and comments help ease the pain. If only for a moment. Holding you all close to my heart.

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