Scottie Love Bug

Does she even know I'm alive?
Lucky here. I know I'm not a Scottie but I've been bitten by the Scottie Love bug and I don't know what to do, which is why I'm taking over the Scottie Mom blog tonight. You see, I met this girl last fall. She's an older girl - nearly three years my senior - and she's got beautiful, blonde hair. I dream about her day and night. I love everything from her smile to her Scottie style. Believe it or not, she even wags her tail more than I do so you can imagine how smitten I was when I met this lovely lady.

Well, as you know by now, I became King of the Scottie House when my Shih Tzu Mom and Dad left me here for a two-week getaway in Alaska. My love for this blonde-haired beauty has only grown since I arrived to claim my temporary throne on Scottie Dad's lap. I knew right away she was my princess and I've spent every minute of every day trying to show my sweet girl what a strong, confident man I can be for her but with just three nights left of my stay here, I figured it was time to make a move.

Before we go there, though, you must understand: what Heather and I had was love at first sight. The night I met her, we got to hold paws (see photographic evidence below) and I just knew she was the one for me. Never mind the fact she isn't looking so amorously at me in the photo...rather, at the treat Scottie Mom was holding in her hand at the time. Any good dog can be distracted by treats. What's important to know is that the connection was there and that treats weren't the only thing Heather was interested in that day...I swear!

Heather and me holding paws.
Anyway, I've paid my dues. I protect the Scottie House day in and day out like it is my own. I howl to alert potential safety concerns anytime the garage opens or there is a knock at the door. I went so far as to demand respect from any and all Scottie House intruders but when I wasn't getting the attention my valiant efforts deserved from my fair lady, I decided to show Heather the ultimate sign of commitment. So when she least expected it, I lifted my leg and peed on her.

Scottie Mom wasn't too happy about that. Something about having to give Heather a B-A-T-H. I don't know why that was necessary. I was just claiming what was mine. If that scent isn't there anymore, I might just do it again. Heather certainly didn't seem too bothered by it. She was probably flattered. In fact, she seemed more bothered by the B-A-T-H than she did by the honor of my christening.

That's when I knew it was time. Time to seal the deal and pronounce our love was for real. Heather led the way upstairs while I waited for my servant - I mean, Scottie Mom - to carry me up the royal stairs. I refuse to walk myself up those tiring things. There, I met up with sweet Heather on the human bed in the guest room. She looked so beautiful. I walked right up to her, sniffed around and attempted to profess my love right there on the bed...until that darned Scottie Mom intervened.

In a flash, I went from making myself tall enough to be with my Heather Beather - who is much bigger than I am - to being swooped up and placed swiftly on the floor below. Scottie Mom looked horrified. She even had the nerve to ask me what I was doing. I thought that part was pretty obvious...taking things to the next level with Heather, of course. Alas, my failed attempt wasn't the worst of it. No, the worst part was that sweet Heather still ignored my Shih Tzu charm and didn't even glance my way when I attempted to make my move. Way to crush a Shih Tzu ego, Heather Beather.

Scottie Mom says I have a Napoleon complex. I don't think that's true. What I have is a case of the unrequited Scottie Love bug and there seemingly is nothing a Shih Tzu can do. Maybe one day, I'll find love, friends, one day...as it seems sweet Heather only has eyes for...sigh, treats.

3 comments:

  1. I hear you loud and clear!!!! Heather is a real catch.

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  2. Oh Lucky...your attempts at getting lucky are commendable but perhaps just a little too...how can we put this, enthusiastic. You need to "woe" both Heather and Scottie Mom and by "woe" we mean "charm and disarm" butt in a far more subtle manner.
    Good luck buddy.
    Wally & Sammy

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  3. Hey buddy, you better buy Heather dinne first

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